Thursday, October 29, 2015

Halfway



As I sit here trying to force the "perfectly enlightening" blogpost, I struggle with the reality of where I am. Though many would consider the halfway point to be the "breakthrough" I seem to dread what is still to come. 

 I would like to break down the halfway point into two sets of realities. 

First off, the reality of what lies ahead.

Though I have fought through seven months of treatment, it seems to only get harder. Instead of my body adapting to chemo, it is only breaking down. My cell counts continue to plunge with no sense of urgency when it comes to bouncing back. Mentally, I am growing to despise treatment. Sometimes, the more you do something- the better it gets. However, with chemotherapy it is the polar opposite. With every treatment the nausea worsens. It's like my body knows what is coming, and "throws a fit" before I even begin.

With the harsh realities that chemo brings, it seems best to ignore myself and just press on. Though I could sit here and wallow in the grief and pain of it all, I'd like to move on to the second reality.

The reality of what I have gained.

Through this journey, I have been incredibly humbled at the support that has been shown. Whether meals from our neighbors, letters in the mail, messages on Facebook, or the thousands of prayers- you all have been there from the beginning. I cannot thank you enough! I have come to know many other cancer fighters, nurses, and friends along this pathway. You all alone are priceless!

Secondly, the memories that have been created are amazing! When you live with a disease that steadily claims 70% of those effected, you learn to cherish every day. I owe an incredible thank you to my family who has supported, cared, and loved me through every step of this journey. Whether going to a Josh Groban concert in Chicago, or simply working for my brother's business, I have found that being thankful for every day God gives brings more happiness than the cancer can take away!

(An incredible supper before our concert!)

For myself, cancer has taught me to cherish the moments that God gives to me. Learning to live like there is no tomorrow isn't necessarily a bad thing. Though cancer would like to strip normalcy from me, I have found that doing the "most normal" things will help to get me through this.

(Josh Groban in the Chicago Theatre!)

6 comments:

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  2. Thank you for being a light to the world through this. Though it is discouraging to you, people continue to see Jesus shining through you! You are a special testimony of the King of Heaven. It is a privilege to pray for you and to know you. Just know that you are impacting so many and that God's way is perfect. Love and hugs to you from the Millers.

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  3. I was so thrilled to see you the other day!! It brings a smile to my face when I think about it. Thank you for being you!!

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  4. Caleb, our memories are priceless and I look forward to making so many more precious and unforgettable ones with you! Your smile lights up the world from the sunniest of days to the darkest of nights. I LOVE YOU! Aunt Jenny

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