Sunday, July 19, 2015

Side Effects and a Second Home

At the beginning of this journey I was walked through the many possible side effects that may occur throughout both my chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Though many side effects were labeled "rare," it seems that I have the uncanny ability to catch them. 

The worst this far is the severe chemo burning in my feet. 
 From what I was told, the chemo toxins settled into my feet, causing extremely painful burns and blisters. This quickly disabled me to the point that it was impossible for me to walk. 

As of this last week, I was hospitalized for both a double transfusion and IV pain control. My super awesome oncology team was able to contact pain/burn specialists that helped us revamp my pain medication regime. 

After three days in the hospital, I am beyond thankful to say that my feet are finally healing.

Between chemotherapy, both inpatient and outpatient, and increasingly common transfusions- I spend a lot of time in the hospital. However, unlike most people I love being in the hospital. Undoubtedly, it is mostly due to the fact I have the medical staff possible. Between my awesome nurses and crazy good Oncology team, I have found P4 to be my second home.
(P4=the Hematology (disease of the blood)/ Oncology (cancer) floor)

Whether I am constantly consulting with my Oncology team or calling my nurses at odd hours, the level of care is beyond words. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be at UW Children's. And also for the opportunity to know, confide, and heal with such a remarkable medical team!

(Never a dull moment when spending time with a fellow Type One) 

Sorry for the long delay, but I finally finished the "Why Hope" page. I hope that it is a blessing to you.

Thank you so much for your support! Due to the chemo burning, my next chemo session is not until next Monday. Please pray that my scans during that week will show the cancer is dying. These scans are incredibly important as they determine whether the treatment can continue.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The "Why's?"

Why do I have Type One Diabetes?
Why three kids with Type One Diabetes?
Why cancer?
Why cancer at 19?
Why bone cancer?
Why metastasized bone cancer?
Why a "big-league" cancer?
Why chemotherapy?
Why so much chemotherapy?
Why all the horrendous side effects?
Why do pediatric cancers exist?
Why do kids get cancer?
Why are all my roommates on my floor like - three years old?
Why are all my hospital floor-mates bald like me? 
Why do they have to fear death?
Why do only a few "get" to live?
Why do some people never have any hardships?
Why my family? 
Why others families?
Why at all?
Why ...?
Why ...?
Why ...?
I could write the "Why's" for hours . . . my mind is exploding with them.

 Franky, after just talking to a few cancer survivors/fighters I can almost guarantee their minds are fogged by the same question. 

I sit here perplexed. 

Usually my posts are questions that I work through and break down to help both my readers and myself. However, the questions right now seem to outweigh the answers.

Though I may never get answers, I know one thing. I have an opportunity to use this dark place and shed some light.



 (My awesome nurses have given me a new nickname. Hope it sticks!)
 
Though cancer may plague my mind, I can rest in the safety of God's will. This was not an accident; God has a deliberate plan for this in my life. James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

Though there are many cancer related realities I cannot control, I can control one thing . . .

what I do with them.

(Inpatient chemo with my princess by my side)



I am currently writing the "Why Hope" page, but have yet to finish it. Frankly, it's not easy.